A Bull in the Bullpen

As we come to an end of the first month of baseball, I am disappointed. And to be honest, I’m not disappointed in the Cubs players, but I am disappointed in Lou Piniella.

Let’s face it, the Cubs starting pitching staff has been stellar! Until getting blown up yesterday against the D-Backs, the Cubs starters led the MLB in ERA. AND, virtually every Cub hitter is hovering around .300 or above with the exceptions of D-Lee and Aramis.

With that said, why are the Cubs 10-13? The answer is simple…Lou Piniella. Everyone points the finger at the bullpen or D-Lee and Aramis, but they’re not the only reason the Cubs have a sub .500 record.

As of yesterday…here are their NL rankings based upon hitting order.

1. 1st – .352 AVG
2. 3rd – .315 AVG
3. 15th – .200 AVG
4. 10th – .231 AVG
5. 14th – .221 AVG
6. 3rd – .313 AVG
7. 1st – .312 AVG
8. 3rd – .324 AVG
9. 16th – .092 AVG

I found this data by simply hopping on ESPN.com. If I can do it, why can’t Lou? Yeah, D-Lee and Aramis aren’t hitting and neither are our pitchers or pinch-hitters. You know what that means? MIX IT UP!!! Until they start hitting again, put the guys who ARE hitting in the middle of the order.

And as much as I don’t want to get into this, I have to. Why is our #1 starter in the bullpen??? He makes $19M to be the pitching workhorse of our team. Does anyone truly believe that Big Chief Carlos Silva is going to continue to give us quality starts every time he rolls out to mound? If you do, you’re crazy. Big Z will give you over 200 innings as a starter. We’re basically taking 100 of those innings and giving them to our 5th starter. Makes me sick.

Bored Game

After the Cubs sent Milton Bradley’s unappreciative ass to Seattle, I figured that we had heard the last of him.  Unfortunately we have not.  Uncle Milty blamed Chicago for his sub-par performance in 2009.  He was quoted as saying, “Two years ago, I played, and I was good. I go to Chicago, not good. I’ve been good my whole career. So, obviously, it was something with Chicago, not me.”

Let’s break this down…

First off, I will agree that Milton played two years ago and had a good season.  But THAT’S IT!  He had one good season and it was in Texas, one of the most hitter friendly parks in the game.  Not to mention, it was probably the first team that he’s been to that had a more dysfunctional player (Josh Hamilton) already on the team.

Yeah, you went to Chicago and you were not good.  Getting ejected after your first Cubs at-bat was clear indication of what was yet to come.  I have much appreciation for Jim Hendry due to his acquistions of Ramirez and Lee.  But since then, he hasn’t done shit.  I’m starting to wonder if he’s been hitting the bong with Geo before going to dinner with potential players.  To give Milton $30 million, you gotta be on something!

Milton has not ‘been good’ his whole career.  If he would’ve been good as a player and a human being, he wouldn’t be on his 8th team in 11 seasons of major league baseball.

On behalf of the Cubs, I apologize Milton.  Not only did they project that you’d hit 30 homeruns, but they also expected you to remember how many outs there are in any given inning.  They understand how much pressure this may have put on you.  I hope Japan is your next destination.  That way you’ll be forced to play baseball because no one will understand what you’re saying when you start to cry.  Hit the bricks!

To the True Fans…

With baseball season approaching, I felt it was time that I got something off my chest.  Every year, I receive my usual punishment for being a Cubs fan.  The goat, the World Series drought, the ‘Bartman ball’, etc.  And like any true fan, I can handle my fair share of hazing and I’m willing to give it back.  More often than not, it’s fun to get into an argument with a fan of an opposing team.  BUT, there is one exception.  I refuse to argue with the fraudulent fan.

Those of you who are true fans know who you are. A true fan has an undying passion and devotion to their team. A true fan feels uncontrollable excitement when their team wins and may act as though they’ve lost a close family member when their team loses. When a true fan becomes unhappy with their team, they will sometimes say hurtful things about their team. Heck, some will even threaten to pledge their allegiance to another, but they never do. Their heart will not let them.  To be brief, being a true fan encompasses more than just attending, watching, or listening to a game. Your team becomes part of your life.

There are those who claim that a fan is a fan. To quote one of my favorite comedians, John Pinette, I say NAY NAY! Just like there are many different groups of people, there are different groups of fans.  In our everyday lives, we must choose wisely in regards to which people we keep around us…and this also applies to the lives of true fans. For instance, you may love your older brother. He’s always been there for you, he was the best man in your wedding, but he’s a Yankees fan. As a true fan of the Red Sox, you will not be inviting him on your trip to Fenway Park for Opening Day. Now granted, I understand that this example is a weak one because it’s fairly easy to escape fans of opposing teams by simply avoiding them. However, there are some fans that are even more hazardous for a true fan to be around…and these are the fans of their own team.

At first, you may think that a fellow fan bleeds the colors of your team, but you will soon find out that they are not who they seem to be. As a true fan, you must identify these fans before it’s too late.

If you are NOT a true fan if:

You like a team based on their uniform colors. (i.e. You are a Buccaneers fan since they no longer wear peach and white.)  As hard as it may seem to believe, this does happen.  If you are one of these fans, put your head down in shame.

You like a team based on their mascot. (i.e. Being a Penguins fan because Penguins are cute.)  You are not only a disgrace to the team, but to the sport.

You like a team because you like a certain player. (i.e. Being a Packers, Jets, and now Vikings fan because you like Brett Favre.) There’s nothing wrong in enjoying the performance of a player when they are on your team.  But once a player is no longer a member of the team, they become an affable enemy. 

You like a team due to current success. (i.e. Becoming an Illinois basketball fan after discovering they’ve made it to the Final Four.)  The quintessential bandwagon fan.  These people fill the bar, dressed in the team’s attire, despite having no prior affiliation with the team.

You began liking and continue to like a team due to their notable success. (i.e. Being a Patriots fan because you started watching them after their first Super Bowl win.)  Like it or not, but you are a bandwagon fan who has chosen not to leave the wagon. 

You like a team because of your significant other.  (i.e. Being a fan of various teams based on who you are dating at the time.)  Sorry ladies, but you are the most notable for this one.

You like a team because your friends do.  (i.e.  You really don’t care for basketball, but you pretend to like the Lakers to gain approval from your friends.) Everyone in your circle of friends knows who this person is.  He is the same guy that will ask to bum a cigarette when you know damn well that they don’t smoke.

You like a team when they are winning, but down them when they are losing.  This one is self-explanatory.  The fair-weather fan.

You like teams that play in the same city.  (i.e.  Being a fan of both the Cubs and Sox.)  This is strictly forbidden.  If your team makes the playoffs, DO NOT invite this person over to watch the game.  They do not understand.  You may not want to share secrets with this person.

If you do not apply to any of the above, congratulations!  You may be a true fan.  To those not as fortunate, I am saddened by your ignorance.

Rumble, Grammy, and Reed

The WWE should be disappointed in itself.  The only thing that did surprise me, but doesn’t surprise me now, was having HHH get eliminated early in the Rumble.  But if you really think about it, it makes sense.  Knowing that he wasn’t picked to win, he probably went up to daddy-in-law, Vince, and told him that he’d take one for the team.  And like I said in my previous blog, everyone predicted Edge to come back and it was too predictable to have him win.  The ending wasn’t even dramatic.  He throws out Batista and two seconds later side-steps Cena and throws him out.  Lame.  They at least could’ve had Cena and Edge battle it out.  Get the crowd going…something!  But, it is what it is.

Although my focus was towards the Royal Rumble, I was fortunate enough to catch some of the Grammy performances.  Pretty solid compared to past years.  I was disappointed that the Dave Matthews Band didn’t pull out Album of the Year, but it was nice to see them get some recognition. 

Finally, I am sad to say that Reed Johnson is now a Dodger.  I will miss you Reed.  I think I will miss you most when a fly ball is hit to the gap.  As three runs have scored and Marlon Byrd finally gets his fat ass to the ball, I will think of your hustle and the game-saving catch that you would’ve made.  A moment of silence for Reed Johnson and his beard…  Thank you.

Royal Rumble 2010

Tonight is the WWE Royal Rumble.  I predict that the ‘Heartbreak Kid’ Shawn Michaels will be the winner.  Here’s why…

1.  Edge – Everyone is expecting the return of the Rated R Superstar.  Although I strongly feel that he’ll make his return at tonight’s PPV, he will not win.  Two years ago when John Cena came back from injury and won the Royal Rumble, it was a shocker.  He was injured and not expected to return to wrestling until months later.  Edge will be greeted with a huge pop from fans, will be one of the final four participants, but will not will the 2010 Royal Rumble.  Too predictable.

2.  John Cena – He is by far the biggest name in the WWE, but a change must be made.  If the WWE creative writers plan to keep Shaemus as the WWE champion for Wrestlemania, they won’t have him fighting Cena.  In fact, I don’t see Shaemus holding onto the title for much longer.  He rose to the top too quickly, is too animated, and is no where near the villian that Randy Orton has portrayed.  Like Edge, I’d look for Cena to be one of the last four participants.

3.  Triple H – Mr. McMahon’s son-in-law was out of the spotlight for the 2nd half of 2009.  After feuding with Randy Orton, he stepped back into the shadows until DX started up again.  Triple H would be my pick as the Royal Rumble winner, but Jen already chose him and I think my pick of Shawn Michaels just makes sense.  Triple H is due for another rise to the top, but it won’t be this Sunday.

I predict that John Cena, Edge, Triple H, and Shawn Michaels will be the last four standing at tonight’s Royal Rumble.  I believe that Cena will eliminate Edge, leaving DX vs. The face of the WWE.  DX will team for the last time and will work together to eliminate Cena.  There will be a loud pop from the fans as Triple H and Shawn Michaels come face-to-face in the ring.  The Game vs. HBK.  After a brief and exciting exchange of moves, Shawn Michaels will emerge victorious.

Now granted, I may be completed way off, but here’s why it makes sense:

1. This guarantees the Shawn Michaels / Undertaker showdown at Wreslemania for the World Heavyweight Championship.
2. There has been speculation of retirement by both HBK and the Undertaker.  Why not finish off their careers together, at Wrestlemania?
3. For weeks on RAW, Triple H has played heel, telling HBK that there is only one winner.
4. Last night on Smackdown, Rey Mysterio also played heel, calling out HBK for assuming the Undertaker will still be champion come Wrestlemania.
5. The WWE Universe doesn’t want Shaemus to be champion.  If HBK faces the Undertaker, the WWE creative staff will then have the opportunity to change the WWE champion if Shaemus story doesn’t pan out.

If the Rock does not make a comeback, I predict that we’ll see a card that looks something like this for Wrestlemania XXVI:

1. Vince McMahon vs. Bret Hart
2. Batista vs. John Cena
3. Randy Orton vs. Ted Dibiase
4. Edge vs. Triple H (WWE Championship)
5. Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker (World Heavyweight Championship)

We NEED Reed!

Although the Cubs have managed to get rid of Uncle Milton, they still need an outfielder.  The Fook can handle right field and Soriano’s ego will cast a shadow in left field…but what about center?  I have the answer.  Re-sign Reed Johnson. 

I realize that I’m biased because because Reed is one of my favorite players, but I have many reasons for why it makes sense.

1.  Defense – The guy hustles his ass off.  Since he’s been a Cub, he’s made some great catches.  Banging off walls, stealing homers.  The Cubs need a guy like that, especially with the liability in left field.

2.  Offense – I realize that Reed doesn’t have the speed of a Juan Pierre or the bat of a young Griffey Jr., but he’s not terrible.  We’re talking about bringing in a guy like Marlon Byrd who just had a career year in Texas.  Remember the last guy we brought in who had a career year in Texas?  And no, I’m not talking about DeRo.  And the other name that’s floating around is Scotty Pods.  Sure, the women will love having him in center, but the guy has only had two decent seasons.  And they were with the White Sox…

3.  Team Chemistry – Jim Hendry already destroyed this when DeRo and Wood went to the tribe and signed Bradley.  Reed is a fun guy.  We need him on the team to keep Fontenot, Theriot, and Dempster entertained. 

4.  Blue-Collar – Like I said, Reed hustles.  Chicago sports fans love a guy who gives his all.  He’s the working man’s Cub.  He’s not afraid to get his uniform dirty and do what it takes to help the team win. 

5.  Style – You know that I can’t this post without talking about the beard.  It’s nearly been a year and I’m still in awe.  If I landed a job in Cubs marketing, my first promotion would be Reed Johnson Chia Pet day. 

Anywho, I’m probably just wasting my time making a push for re-signing Reed.  The Cubs will sign Marlon Byrd and a washed up veteran pitcher like Jose Contreas, then call it an offseason.  Jim Hendry sucks. 

The Dave Matthews Band

I’d like to take the time to congratulate The Dave Matthews Band on their Grammy nominations for album of the year and rock album of the year for “Big Whiskey and the Groogrux King”.  It is well-deserved.

In the fall of 1999, I was a freshman at Illinois State University.  At the time, I was listening to the musical stylings of Kid Rock, Eminem, Limp Bizkit, and Buckcherry.  I couldn’t get enough of the rap-rock movement of the late 90′s. 

My roommate Jeremiah was a Dave Matthews Band fan.  He loved the music, he had been to shows, and even had an email account using ‘Matthews’ as his last name.  Every time he was in the room, DMB was playing.  I couldn’t comprehend it and I must admit that I was turned off at first.  Not only was the music foreign to me, but I didn’t understand the admiration that he and so many others had for DMB.

After a few months had passed, I had gotten used to it.  I even started recognizing some of the songs.  My first favorite DMB song was “The Song that Jane Likes”.  There was just something about the saxaphone at the beginning of the song that did it for me.  I was falling in love.

Every night, we would listen to our Sony Discmans when we crashed out.  Miah asked to borrow Buckherry and I borrowered DMB’s ”Listener Supported”.  The rest is history…

The Dave Matthews Band is my favorite band/artist.  When I tell people that I’m a fan, there are only two responses that I hear: “I love Dave!” or “Dave sucks!”  There is no space between and I understand that.    But if you truly appreciate music and a perfected blend of instruments, artistry, and song writing…go see the Dave Matthews Band.  You will not be disappointed.

R.I.P. Leroi Moore

Say It Ain’t Sosa…please!

Sammy Sosa is white. 

No, he’s not back on the White Sox.  He hasn’t changed his last name to Blanco.  Sammy Sosa is a white man.

I have to admit that I had a man-crush on Sammy during the late 1990′s into early 2000′s.  I loved to watch him bat.  The guy would swing so hard that the bill of his helmet would fall in his face.  When he connected for a homerun, it was like an explosion.  The hop, the sprinting around the bases, the stutter-step before touching each bag, capping it off with a heart tap, kiss, and gesture towards the heavens.  And we can’t forget the celebration when he reached the end of the dugout.

It was all too good to be true.  Next thing you know he’s pissing off teammates, Kerry Wood smashes his boombox, he’s bringing his own ‘trainer’ to spring training, he’s corking his bat, and kicked himself out of Chicago.  Steroid allegations were later made and he faded away after brief stints in Baltimore and Texas. 

Five years have passed since Sammy last put on a Cubs uniform.  His number #21 has been passed on to asshats like Jason Marquis and Milton Bradley.  And with success in 2007 and 2008, the days of Sammy have become a distant memory for most Cubs fans.  But just when we all thought that Samuel Peralta Sosa was gone forever, he’s back…and not black.

Sosa has admitted to using a bleaching cream from Europe to soften his skin.  Ironically, Sammy is known to his close family and friends as “Mikey”.  His grandmother gave him the nickname after hearing it while watching one of her favorite soap operas.  Does the name “Sosa” translate into “Jackson” in Spanish? 

Personally, I think that Sammy and the media are full of rubbish.  It’s obvious what’s going on here…   ”Mikey” will be starring in the third installment of the Twilight series, “Eclipse”.  He will be portraying a werewolf-vampire offspring.

World Seri-ously?

Since the Cubs were eliminated from playoff contention, I really haven’t felt the need to discuss baseball.  However, I am pleased that the Cubs finally got their ownership settled.  Welcome Ricketts family!  Hopefully this is the beginning of the end.

Back to business…

I’m getting ready for work this morning and I flipped on the TV to see who ended up winning Game 6 of the World Series last night.  I flipped on ESPN and they delivered the terrible news.  I expected ESPN to be happy since one of their east-coast teams won another ring, but it was the way that they informed me of the Yankees win that got me stirring.  A-Rod, A-Rod, and more A-Rod.  There I stood, Jerry Tarkanian-ing my bath towel, as the panel of baseball analysts praised him. 

Chris Berman needs to stick to the NFL, Chris Singleton sucked as a player and sucks as an analyst, John Kruk is good to listen to when he gets the chance to talk, and I’ve always had respect for Peter Gammons and what he brings to the table.  I expect low to high level igorance from the first three, but not Gammons…  Until today.  To paraphrase, he stated that he was proud of A-Rod for overcoming his obstacles.  Then one of the other blowholes stated that he performed well in the playoffs because he became a team player.  WTF?!

1. First off, the guy admitted to using steroids.  Did everyone forget that?!
2. Those steroids are also why he made $32M this year.
3. He cheats on and off the field.
4. He’s historically sucked in the playoffs.  He finally gets a few hits and now he’s a team player?  The only thing on his mind is who he’s banging after the game.

Alex Rodriguez is overrated, overpaid, and over-exposed.  And believe me, I know that he’s not alone in this league.  There are players on the Cubs that I have similar feelings about too.  Bottom line is this…giving praise to a guy with his character is wrong.  Save it for the guys who are deserving and stop kissing ass!

 

Unbearable

I will not intentionally sit down to watch a Cubs game unless they are in 1st for the Division or Wildcard for the rest of the season. I feel like a fool for staying up to watch them play the Padres. I was flipping back and forth between the Cubs and Cardinals games. I saw that the Cardinals won and I started getting that sick feeling in my stomach. On my way to Jen’s, I was listening to Dave Kaplan on WGN before the game. Someone called in, talking about how he can’t stand Kevin Gregg. Kap agreed and said that he was going to stay up to watch the game, but if Gregg would come in and blow the save, he was going to puke. This entered my mind as I got in the car to go home at the bottom of the 9th. I’m driving, listening to WGN, Ronnie was optimistic as usual…but Pat’s voice was in the ‘I have a bad feeling’ tone. I pulled into the drive as the Padres tie the game.  Ronnie yells. I walk into the house, turn on the game…and it’s already over!!! I’m done.

I’m pissed off. I was in love with last year’s team. I couldn’t get enough of it. Who in their right mind dumps Kerry Wood and Mark DeRosa (who were not only fan favorites, but team leaders, and coming off career years) to sign Fontenot #2 – Aaron Miles, clubhouse cancer – Milton Bradley, and robo-closer – Kevin Gregg!!!

97 WINS LAST YEAR!!! Wood? DeRosa? Wuertz? Howry? Blanco? Edmonds? Cedeno? We should’ve dumped Marquis and tightened up the bullpen. Could’ve resigned Edmonds for $1-2M!

I can’t take it. Meanwhile the Cardinals pickup DeRosa, Lugo, Holliday, and Carpenter’s back in Cy Young form. Sox pick up Rios and Peavy who’s already making rehab starts to come back August 28th. All makes me sick.

Where’s the Tylenol?